Faux Pas and South paws

So it's finally confirmed; I have a fight on August 18th. Kroo Phet, the mastermind behind the matchups had me assume my most fearsome fighting stance for the poster snapshot -- yes there will be a poster plastered across the Island of Phuket with my ugly mug on it -- that probably was less intimidating than I would have hoped. After see-sawing back and forth as to whether I was going to fight and giving them the ultimatum of a fight or leaving to join my friend Boone at his very own gym, Bor Phetpintusopon, in Bangkok, they finally caved.

In most fighting sports, weight is key in determining matchups. This is obvious; how could you match up a little man with a big guy and expect a fair fight. Muay Thai is similar, but as speed and technique are so crucial to success, it's basically eyeballed. Apparently even though I am 78 kilos, I 'look' 73, which is what I'm going to be fighting at. Go figure.

Last weekend I went to Phi Phi island, the backdrop of the movie 'The Beach' with everyone's favourite actor Leo DiCaprio. I had promised to go on the trip prior to finding out my fight date was less than 10 days away long ago, so I had to follow through and was met with a fantastic time. Everyone is a foreigner, which is a welcomed change from every next girl coming up and accosting you in Patong and being either a) a hooker or b) a transvestite. Not that I don't love the attention, it merely gets a little old. Phi Phi is well known for its parties, a great feature of which is the Raggae bar situated in the middle of the small island. This bar sports a full sized Muay Thai boxing ring which holds pro fights on a nightly basis and between each match is a so-called 'volunteer' match between two drunken fools willing to duke it out (also known as 'Drongos' according to my jovial friend Clint from New Zealand).

Probably the best example of 'if you're gonna be dumb, you better be tough' was witness by a packed bar and myself in the corner of the ring on Saturday night. An overzealous guest who will remain anonymous had been chomping at the bit, and about 20 Xanex and Valium, to fight anyone willing to take on his skill. He unfortunately only has been at camp for 3 weeks, most of which has been spent in Patong beach with working women or passed out from a night on the town. He proceeded to take on a Russian giant with 6 years of boxing experience who was not only over 60 lbs heavier than him with barely an ounce of muscle, but was literally twitching freakishly as he challenge my foolish friend. Needless to say, he got the tar beat out of him in less than 30 seconds and I should hope to post the video ASAP!

Finally to end the post, I've been hitting the gym hard this week in preparation for the fight. The trainers have quite a bit of confidence and a lot of the other guests believe that I'm underestimating my skill. When I was told the match would be cancelled briefly, I was almost excited, but was then again overjoyed when it was reconfirmed. I'm in Thailand, learning the national sport in less than 2 months and I'm stepping into a ring to have a professional fight against a career athlete. It's nearly as silly as my aforementioned collegue, but I think I'm a little less dumb and a tad more tough, so we will see very soon.

PS: I nearly got deported today for making fun of this strange looking actress in a movie trailer... she turned out to be the queen's daughter and today happened to be the queen's birthday. Do not speak ill of the Thai royal family when in Thailand (Tip #253 on how not to get shanked in Thailand).