Rain rain go away

I made a little remark about the weather a couple of days ago, complaining about how hot and dry the Thai winter has been and maybe a nice downpour would be nice to cool down the camp for training; well when it rains, it pours. 2 days and 48 solid hours of rain later, I'm officially sick of the weather and finally know why the call it the rainy season.

It's been a while since my last post, but don't take that as me not having any mind-blowingly exciting experiences in Thailand; it is quite the opposite. Since my last post I've witnessed the seedy underbelly of Patong beach, experienced a legitimate Muay Thai match, and experience all that first class movie theatres in Thailand have to offer.

Last Saturday we all decided to cut a little loose and head off to the (in)famous Patong Beach for a night on the town. After having finished training and started drinking with the relatively palatable Chang beer at dinner, we hopped into two pimped out mini-buses and motored off to Patong. I had been told before that the place was something that could only be understood by seeing it for myself and I couldn't agree more. As soon as you walk down the main drag you are assaulted by impoverished folk trying to peddle off their Thai schwag and entice tourists to come watch their various go-go-dancing and sex shows. Being my mother's son, I of course refused both and did my best to weave through the droves of lady boys and bar girls.

Once in the bar, you're accosted by every girl in sight. As you all know I'm a strikingly handsome guy, but the number of girls latching onto me seemed to be a little higher than usual. You walk between tables and honestly 4 girls will grab your arm, hug your waist, touch your face, etc. It's really uncomfortable because some of the girls in this certain bar are 'actual' Thai girls and others are 'bar girls'. You never know whether someone is interested in you or your wallet and usually its the latter. Going to the bathroom was also a trip; you bust through the line up of girls like you're playing red rover and then stand at the urinal only to be grabbed, this time, by a guy. The guy gets you into a full nelson and shakes you about (while in mid-stream) and cracks your back like a celery stick. Not that it was entirely unpleasant, because it wasn't, but it was a little awkward to have someone unannounced latch onto you and perform a chiropractic readjustment. After 'partying' until 5 am we all headed home, a few of the guys with what we think were girls, and did our best to keep our dignities in check.

Next on the menu were the fights last night. Again, the usual mini bus trucked us off to Patong, this time to the more respectable part, and we headed into the, let's just say, humble stadium. We were up on the side of the arena with our $30 tickets, but for $9 more, we could sit in sofas close enough to smell the linament and blood. The night started off with two 7-year-olds going at it. They were tough as nails; the fight ended with a head kick knocking out the smaller of the two. When I was seven I was collecting pogs. The next was a pair of 9 year olds. One was extremely tubby and reminded me of a young Matt Charleton. Naturally I called him Matt and cheered him on, but the bean-pole-esque young Thai taunted and baited the kid until he ended up putting out his lights in the 3rd.

The main reason we showed was to see two of our trainers fight, Ngoo and Aor. Ngoo is a 22 year old fighter who took the traditional strategy of doing jack in the first 2 rounds of the fight. Nobody really understands the scoring system, but basically the jist of the strategy is to be boring for the 1st 2 rounds and explode in the last 3. In typical fashion Ngoo stuck it to the cocky Thai and won on points. Aor, a top-ranked boxer and Muay Thai fighter, took the less traditional route of winning the fight with his hands. Apparently Thais believe that your fists are the weakest tools in your fighting arsenal, so kicks are par for the course. Aor took the man off guard and worked his knuckle game until putting him to sleep in the 3rd. Quite an impressive match and if he understood a word of English I would have congratulated him.

Finally I was the first of everyone I know to see Batman yesterday when taking the time difference into account. The movie was amazing and the atmosphere possibly rivaled the quality of the movie itself. We opted against the $3 standard tickets because the show times conflicted with training and decided to stick with the $15 VIP First class theatre instead. Once you select your assigned seats you get to enjoy the perks of the lounge; cocktail food, unlimited drinks, snacks, and popcorn. We made sure to maximize our time eating the little sandwiches and got into the theatre to find only about 30 seats in the entire place. Each was a lay-z-boy which fully reclined into a bed. They were even so kind as to include a very comfortable blanked for when you're sprawled out and hopefully still conscious while enjoying the movie. During the show, ushers periodically refreshed our drinks and popcorn which led me to fill up my bladder like a damn fool. So even as amazing as the movie was, not bursting on the brand new upholstery was at the forefront of my mind. I give it 10 head kicks out of 10 and think that Heath Ledger deserves best supporting actor. Coming soon, Matt's Hardcore Movie Blog.

Ta ta for now, doing nothing all day until training is calling, and it's going to take me all day to finish.